I have my good days and bad days, I schedule every moment of my life including chores, but my default setting is exactly how you described. OP, for what it’s worth, I would walk away from my job tomorrow if I could (I love bits of my job but the bureaucracy makes me apathetic). It wouldn’t make you the king over those people; it’s just a bartering of something you want for something they want (services for money). The work culture and lack of proper benefits and respect are absolutely insane in the US. Yes, it is also a problem that there are people who want work, but can’t find it. I, of course, knew some people didn’t like their job.
Same.
It’s so great. or with an abusive spouse, for example? Are you making yourself take any old job, just so you can say you have a job? It could be choosing to have his wife work part time while the child is at school. If anyone’s grateful they’re here it’s me. I certainly didn’t feel entitled to having that much time off simply to re-charge (whatever that meant at the time!). I would listen to what she has to say – we may have different ideas of marriage but I’d bristle a bit if my husband decided it was his place to protect me from the world. I’m sure other commenters will have ideas here. I don’t know if it will solve your problems — like I said, my problem with working isn’t the work but the social factor — but if you can financially swing it, perhaps you could try for a reduced schedule on a trial basis and see if that helps? If he had said he likes the way he is and just wishes he didn’t have the responsibility of a family, that would be an entirely different story. Mention to an acquaintance that you’re looking for something new.
Annnd I read something wrong as I was posting. I was working too hard, under huge amounts of stress, and on top of that would get weird physical symptoms – nightly migraines, insomnia, eye / face twitches, stomach pains, rashes, you name a stress reaction and I probably experienced it. Who is ever ontime to something they dont want to go to? It doesn’t have to be all or nothing, and I think people forget that. It will be a learning experience, too. The employer? How, thats what you have to find out for yourself, good luck! Anyone who’s ever disliked their job has felt this way.
When I am stuck on a problem, the best thing I can do is look up from the problem. I have tried medications. Don’t just talk about how terrible you feel or how much you hate going to work. I’m a lawyer in two States and I have friends and law-school classmates who are financially very successful. I frequently tell people that just because it hurts more to get shot than it does to get punched doesn’t mean your black eye doesn’t hurt like a mother. nkdover wrote: “The thing is this–WE CHOOSE OUR OWN ATTITUDE. I have seen that one myself and have had folks with diabetes talk to me about it. People sometimes take up jobs that fill them with frustration. If you aren’t somebody who likes to compete for rewards in the typical work scenario, it’s a little slice of hell. Nobody is suggesting that. And I’m going to agree with you and disagree with fposte (kind of). 6 hours one day every other week sitting in the chemo room for 4-5 months. I massively improved my creative skills – writing, drawing, knitting, embroidery and sewing. He needs to have a job, so he has one. But what do you do when you’re stuck in a job you hate and you can’t leave because no other job interests you? If I take an adderall, I don’t want to work at all. No special patterns or anything, just knitting. The breaking point came at my last full-time job when I found out someone I worked with (and who considered themself to be one of my best friends, long story there) turned out to have some very odious views and I was like, why am I spending more time with YOU than I am with my spouse and my real friends? Talking therapy and/or antidepressants might help you, but there’s no guarantee they’ll work (at least long term), because I think your hatred of work is so deeply entrenched that I think the only thing that will fix it for good is getting a job you actually enjoy and are good at. I volunteered at places. So perhaps I should have suggested spending some time in a mental ward with people who can’t work due to their illness. -Discussing / moving towards accepting that this is a choice I’m making because I’m willing to pay the price (i.e., 40 hours of my week each week) for the benefits that I’m receiving (salary, vacation time, health benefits, praise for my performance, trust / flexibility / autonomy, etc. When that happens, you will get passed over, ignored, etc., and you’ll start feeling the way you, OP, do about work. I you’re making some incorrect assumptions about psychology here. And more importantly, he can’t stop us from feeling as we do no matter how many internet threats he throws down. Hang in there!!! I have had them, I have sought therapy, and I have gotten better. I think it’s perfectly normal for people who are highly creative, intelligent or free-spirited to not be happy about the expectation that we should work 8 to 5. I felt very ill yesterday. I never actually harmed anyone. I know i could be making alot more but im lazy.
It took a couple years of thinking about that but gradually as I understood myself, my life changed and I gradually came to like my work. Again, please do get help and be brave enough to experiment until you find something that lessens the pain. I would actually love to have an AMA/Ask A Manager poster about your experience with almost becoming a nun. And severe anxiety or depression can make it difficult to even choose what you’re going to eat for dinner. There is only one quality book that I’ve been able to find on the subject, and it’s old but quite good and only slightly outdated in some aspects: “Beating the Blues” by Michael Thase. I wish sometimes that I could make a living doing work I actually want to do, but I have resigned myself to the fact that right now, it’s not possible. Most people figure out eventually how to work the appropriate amount and not to have excessive feelings about it.
I’m going to demur–I think internet diagnosis can be a real problem sometimes. I don’t care if you’re on Wall Street or running a landscaping crew, business is business and it requires paperwork. So if there’s one thing a bad job will teach you, it’s to appreciate a good one when you have it. I absolutely DO need breaks regularly. Over the years, I’ve started blaming it on the American concept of exempt status – I never feel like I’m wasting my company’s time if I slack on Facebook, because the work will still be there when I’m done and if I have to stay late, that’s my own fault and it’s my responsibility to manage it. I have also said i rather live under a bridge then continue working at my job. A lot of people don’t. Does this job deserve my time and energy for another year?". I also agree that you should absolutely get your physical health thoroughly checked out. Why is it so hard to quit, and even harder to stay? I’ve moved my “default” mood away from curmudgeon and toward optimist just a little bit, and its a little increment that matters a ton in my general satisfaction with my life. Not quite the same thing as the job situation but the common thread is that there seems to be a lot of things that don’t make sense. I’d been slaving at that job for three years with nothing more than $1,000 annual raise, which amounted to $20 more dollars a month after taxes. ), so there is going to be some degree of ‘mooching’ at some level, from coworkers or taxpayers or friends. Screwing around on Facebook at work? I’ve always been unhappy at work, even when I had an objectively fantastic job. Ask your boss for a letter of recommendation, and of you may use them as reference. So make sure you’re taking what you can from it. I hated it with every cell in my body. Basically what I’m saying is, there’s hope my friend. My inborn optimism is no more a choice than my morning-person circadian rhythms and my naturally curly hair. That’s definitely something that you could work on while at work, many people do. Check your county mental health department–there may be therapists who work on a sliding payment scale. Kids are pretty perceptive, and they will figure out that their parent is miserable- and I’m not advocating sending a message of “life is suffering” to a child. If I’m having trouble focusing then stopping frequently to move my attention away and back helps me actually get my tasks done, but then at other times I can just focus on my stuff and plug through it and I never pause and think I need a break. I worry about OP having that symptom so often. It’d be great if I could just make plans with people or appointments the day before so I can actually know what I want to do on those days, but everyone else always needs more time than that. “Are you making yourself take any old job, just so you can say you have a job?”. But grass isn’t always greener on the no work side. I can’t seem to bring myself to do it even if I could be grading while watching TV or listening to music.
I started creating positive habits in my life (like reading, working out, and eating better). I’m not dissing the blue collar – I’m dissing the elite (or would-be elite) who think they shouldn’t have to work. I have a very smart friend who caught me doing this a few years back.
:) It’s like a “You have these symptoms? Your arguments are logical! It makes you a slave to a society you hate. So this realization kinda makes it hard. You have so many comments on his thread that it is obvious you’re not alone in hating work.
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